the daily ish

direction

If I get this internship, I will honestly die of happiness. I haven't wanted anything so bad like this in soooooo long! The job is absolutely perfect for me and it would just really set me towards the direction I've always been dreaming about. Oh please, oh please! I want this so bad! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

AHHHHHH! I'm melting in anxiety and excitement!

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yearning

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Snapshots of Europe keep randomly appearing in my mind and when it happens, I'm shaken. The feeling is gripping and a whole wave of emotions comes over me. I'm sad but grateful...and there's this huge yearning inside of me. This longing to go back and to relive each moment again. I never thought that this trip would have such an effect on me. Yes, I knew it'd be an "experience of a lifetime"...that it'd be like nothing I've ever experienced before...but prior to takeoff, those were all just abstract words people kept repeating to me. And yes, I knew I'd be different...that everything would be different. But this? This is something else. The feeling is profound. It's like I'm in this sort of limbo right now. I've experienced greatness and I know that there's still more to come and yet, right now...there's this kind of lull. And this feeling of restlessness grips me to the point of paralysis...

the doldrums

It's hard going back to the relatively dull suburbia after traveling Central Europe. I mean, you can hardly really compare the two vastly different places. I feel so indifferent and uninterested in what's going on around here and I seriously miss the gorgeous sites, the independence, the people, and believe it or not, our decrepit little dorm room. It's like I've seen greatness and now I'm back to...well, Markham.

I'm deep in a funk. Someone get me out.